Jessie Harper’s Final Paper

Jessie Harper

Professor Foss

Disability and Literature

6 May 2021

The Offerings of An Unkindness of Ghosts

            What does the future hold? Not many of any of us know the answer to that. Sci-Fi authors have been trying to imagine what the future will hold for us for centuries. Most people think quite a bit of our technology we have has been based on these written ideas of what could be in the future. From the “pocket telephone” which comes from “Space Cadet” by Robert Heinlein, which is what we now refer to as smartphones. To flying cars in writing and in filmography has been highly characterized. My first encounter of the flying car was Ian Fleming’s Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. The use of a traditional model vehicle with merely the ability to fly. In comparison to others that barely look like a vehicle at all.

In a large majority of Sci-Fi material, you do not often see race or social class-based discrimination as a main plot point, but rather a side story or a filler for background. That is a past and current issue not fitting in a futuristic idea of space travel. This piece of written work, An Unkindness of Ghosts, that takes a spin on a racial disparities, all the while being staged on the spacecraft that has been traveling from Earth for 300 years. This concept is almost unrealistic as the reader. That an advanced intellectual crew of humans can be ignorant or intolerant of others upon their very ship.

            However, race is not the only factor in the case of Aster. Race can bind the group of people that have it in common together and also the discrimination that they face as a whole. Yet Aster still feels ostracized from those around her. We quickly learn that Aster is neuro-divergent from the first little bit of the book, “Aster was always memorizing new ways of being with people” (Solomon 9), then again from being called a name by a fellow lower decker, “Insiwa. Inside one. It means you live inside your head and to step out of it hurts like a caning.” (Solomon 12). Finally, it is pointed out by someone close to her, “It was like what Aint Melusine was always saying, that Aster was one who looked sideways, or one who saw through the corner of her eyes. When you saw the world sideways, you couldn’t always get a proper handle on things.” (Solomon 62). This reminds me of another piece we read in this class Preface: Autistics of Color: We Exist… We Matter. By Morenike Giwa Onaiwa. In this piece Giwa Onaiwa talks also about being black and being neuro-divergent or autistic and says this, “even those who accepted, cared for me, loved me still did not understand me”(Onaiwu, XV). Giwa Onaiwa also goes makes a statement that Aster most likely understands as well with, I “looked the part” I was supposed to automatically understand and be fluent in all these random aspects of life attributed to black American culture.” (Onaiwa XIV). Onaiwa notes that since it is not something that they do not just do something is wrong with them. For Aster she only felt at peace in her botanarium, “There, at least, there was some kind of quiet” (Solomon 12).

            Asher was different in the eyes of everyone on the ship from the guards to her fellow lower deckers. However, the abuse of the guards was known by Asher and her fellow lower deckers. “….the morale of the Guard, and the details of previous abuses: strength, force, duration” (Solomon 25). Again, Onaiwa is able to relate to this with race-based discrimination along with being disabled, when they say, “We are painted as defective, flawed, undesirable, different. To be pitied. Not only are we non-white, but we are also disabled too?”(Onaiwu, XI). Which takes me back to the part of this still being a problem of the present and hard to grasp the thought of it still being a vast issue for the future. Yet thinking about where we have been in the past and where we should be today and yet we are not. I perhaps should not be as shocked and quite frankly appalled. More so disappointed that someone could envision these races, merely skin pigment issues never being eliminating from our apparent mind. “Giselle knew as well as Theo how Lieutenant singled Aster out for a startling array of abuses.” Then a little later it says, “He had given her name to several guards, so though she rarely faced him in person, she frequently experienced his wrath by proxy.” (Solomon 18).

It is so easy for Lieutenant to do this because Aster is a lower decker. The only reason, she is around Theo is because she’s different because her mind works different. In another piece, we read for this class they describe this as, “assuming that one person can serve as the voice or face of an entire community is an assumption that has jumped straight from the hotbed of microaggressions” (Ashkenazy, XXIX). Then they define what microaggression is, “meaning of everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership”(Ashkenazy, XXVII)

On the ship of Matilda, an everyday exchange for a lower decker is to do as you are told or be punished. Aster’s gift of Flicks foots from hypotherma to the Lieutanant as a reminder of the cold in the lower decks to him was a normal day’s punishment. However, I saw it as microaggression because of being not only aimed at the lower deckers but also at Aster personally. As Aster meets with him, she says, “Any leniency he gave was so he would have something to take away later. She didn’t know what her punishment would be, but it was certainly coming” (Solomon 82). Then Aster sees that come to fruition when “The person Lieutenant led out in chains to be executed was Flick.” (Solomon 84).

Through everything Aster faced, losing loved ones, her place of peace, she still started a revolution in part with the bravery of Theo. Not necessarily getting past the difference of being neuro-divergent but using it as a way to process things at different angles, seeing races as one people, seeing this ship as one society that needs to work together to survive successfully. Truly, I believe if the world had more Aster’s, that we would be in a much better place.

Word Count 1135

I pledge

Work Cited

Ashkenazy, E. Forward: On Autism and Race, All the Weight of Our Dreams: On Living Racialized Autism, DragonBee Press, 2017, xxiii-xxxix

Giwa Onaiwa, Morenike. Autistics of Color: We Exist… We Mater, All the Weight of Our Dreams: On Living Racialized Autism, DragonBee Press, 2017, x-xxii

Solomon, River. An Unkindness of Ghosts. Akashic Books, 2017.

Jessie Harper Major Paper Project

Jessie Harper

Dr. Chris Foss

Disability and Literature

13 April 2021

Their Pain is Relatable

            Each story we have read in this class was vastly different in a multitude of ways. At the same time each story told the same story. Of someone who was experiencing their own take of their disability and the human condition. I say the human condition because of what the human condition, which is living life, growing, your experiences, conflicts, emotions and so much more. Which being disabled is just another way of living the human condition with experiences, conflicts, and unbelievable emotions. With every story you can see these things within them. Because of this, those stories inspired and gave me the bravery to write some of my own story.  In this project I have laid the framework for 5 original poetry pieces of my story that I hold close to my heart. I related especially to two stories we have read so far this semester.

One of those actually being Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. Being an outsider because of my gender identity, but also feeling Frankensein’s creature of being cut and pasted together to be me and no one understand me for those choices. Hating the scars, I see in the mirror because they shouldn’t have to be there in the first place but knowing without them, I would have what used to face me in the mirror that much more. This is shown in my poetry piece called The Cuttings of the Creator. In this poem I connect with how the creature is created, cut and sewn back together. The idea that if I have all of the surgeries done, I will look like the creature in particular areas. Like the creature I feel like because of this, the world might never fully look at me and not pull away.  

The other piece we read that hit me the hardest and got the words flowing through my veins to the keys was Laurie Clements Lambeth’s Symptoms. This piece talks about how it feels to have MS. She illustrates a remarkable picture for you to understand what life is like inside her skin. I have a paralyzed vocal cord, so this work of art gave me a path to telling others what it is like being inside my skin. Having a paralyzed vocal cord can mean many different things. For me at first, I couldn’t talk at all or breath very well. Now with help and stubbornness I can talk but will lose my voice easily. However, I still cannot breathe like everyone else. That is my main focus in the three poems I wrote about this. The first being, Walk in my Shoes a poem that is very much like Laurie Clements Lambeth’s Symptoms giving the reader the ability to, for a moment, feel how I do to have this. The second being, Ode to the Scar which is meant to be a satire about the scar that is left behind from the surgery that resulted in me having the paralyzed vocal cord. Then lastly Under the Flesh, a piece of how I felt when I was first dealing with all anger, frustration, and pain of it, wanting to just end it all and praying that it was not real.

My last poetry piece is my most vulnerable part about myself. Thinking about it now I feel drawn to Lennie in Of Mice and Men. This being because of how those around him think he is stupid. Growing up I was perceived as such myself. I have a learning disorder that makes it difficult to read. The poem starts out with what I felt everyone was saying every time I could not pronounce groupings of letters. For years I was treated as Lennie was when someone found out that I was “learning impaired”. The torment from not only my fellow classmates but also adults as my pieces highlights a teacher in my youth that was the start of my downward spiral. At the age of 23 I was barely at a 7th grade reading level having to rely on other people to help me be an adult, to read things to me, and help me understand what it meant. Such as Lennie did with George.

Poetry have always been a way for me to get out my most raw feelings and the stories we have encountered this semester have made many of those feelings surface. So, to have a project to be able to use that outlet to express that was both a great way to reflect as well as process what we had been reading for this class.

_______________________________________________

The Cuttings of the Creator

Like the monster made by a man

I too have a demand

To cut

the flesh and tissue from my breast

Where mirrors play on the adding stress

Of being a man not in the foreground

But being trapped behind this lady’s frown

So, I will cut

the flesh and tissue from my breast

To give that mirror a rest

But that is not all there is

To become the His

Now to add, snip, snip and sew

The part that makes to stand and go

Yet through it all there is still a mixture

That fills my veins with the whisper

To cut a little deeper

Into making this creature

A man 

_______________________________________________

Walk in my Shoes

Take your hand and make a fist.

Take your fist and place it on the lower part of your neck.

Push on your neck with your fist till it is hard to breath.

How you would work breathing that way

or talk even breathing that way.

Would suck to be like that all the time?

This is how I breath.

With a paralyzed vocal cord.

Get winded sometimes from just talking,

or even trying to walk and talk.

Think about how hard working or exercising would be.

It’s impossible.

Can this be fixed?

No.

You learn to live your life, fighting with everything.

Trying to breath and life.

All you feel like you can do sometimes is, sit, and rot. 

_______________________________________________

Ode to the Scar

My heavy scar, you inspire me to write.

I love the way you bleed, and lead to voiceless and pain,

Invading my mind through day and night,

Always dreaming about the deadly champion.

Let me compare you to a sharp play?

You are more medley, powerful and dark.

Slim breeze flaps the noxious dancers of May,

And the springtime has the exhausting disembark.

How do I love you? Let me count the ways.

I love your esoteric neck and knife.

How your personality fills my days!

My love for you is the flowerful pfeiff.

Now I must away with a wearing heart,

Remember my stark words whilst we’re apart.
_______________________________________________

Under the Flesh

Suffocation;

Humiliation;

Gasping for air;

Is anyone there?

Give me a straw;

It’s better than this small;

Airway of life;

Losing grip on this knife;

Please take it back, I’ve had enough

I’m not this tough;

I can’t handle;

I want to blow out the candle.

Drowning with not water;

Fire from this collar;

Seeing the smile;

Begging for denial;

Air is not with me;

It has forsaken me;

With each breath I wish this a fantasy….

_______________________________________________

Turning the Page

Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid

In a corner trapped by a book I could not read

Crying because the word just would not connect

Begging for some kind of clue

To this little engine that could

But I could not

I was stupid she’d say

I was stupid they’d assumed

All my life stupid

All my fears circled this word stupid

I was stupid I could not read

Do words define us

Or do we define words

Stupid Stupid Stupid

Stupid Stupid Stupid

Stupid Stupid Stupid

NO!

NO!

NO!

I ttthhiinnk I tthink I ccaan I think I can

I think I can I think I can I think I can

I think I can

I know I can

I know I will

I will

I did

Jessie Harper’s Response to Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird”

Unlike most youth I was never required to read “To Kill a Mockingbird” in grade school or to analyze it through the looking glass of racism. As an adult, it has been much simpler to see the injustice of the time or that it is set between people of a certain color. However, to look at this novel and all of the other works this semester with the mind of seeing more than just the what is in the center stage has been interesting and enlightening to say the least. We often see things that we identify with, but will undoubtably ignore things that have little to no effect or commonality to our lives. This is true when reading a book and noticing characters. You can without a doubt notice the protagonist, but will disregard the connection of a lower character. We are only interested in these lower characters when the protagonist is.

This is true for Arthur “Boo” Radley. When Scout isn’t thinking of him our thoughts aren’t drawn to him. “Boo” Radley I would even say is different still. In the story the children are the only ones who care to think about this man who is considered to be “different”. How he is different however is never actually stated in the book. Harper Lee has created a fantastic development of a character throughout the novel. This does not allow for “Boo” Radley to be a relatable character with his disability because the disability is never named. But then the character is relatable because the “wrongness” is never pinpointed.

Does having the assumption that something is “wrong” with you by societal norms make you disabled? This was possibly the motive behind this lack of labeling of Harper Lee’s. One of my fellow classmates said it best when she spoke about focusing on naming one “disability”. Too often we tangled in the idea of needed to fit in a box and for everyone around us to fit in said box as well. That we forget that there are many different sized boxes in the world. “Boo” Radley cared for the children that is evident, from leaving them gifts, to covering Scout with a blanket, and finally fighting for them against Bob Ewell.

Disability or not he was still human because all of those acts are out of caring and love, with human emotion. He was unknowingly willing to put his very life on the line for these children who had been afraid of him being “different”. We have to remember that we can have multiple identities or disabilities. But this allows us to look at the world with a different perspective, with different glasses, if you will. What one person sees as a disability, another can see a strength. What “Boo” Radley does might have not been accomplished by someone with all abilities, because they did not see it the same way he did. It is why we use the term “rose colored glasses” or the “grass is greener on the other side.”

Word Count 504

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